My first birthday without my mom (Aug, 2023)

Today marks a milestone in my life, one that I approach with mixed emotions. It's my birthday, a day that has always been filled with joy, celebration, and the warmth of my mother's love. But this is my first birthday without my mother, my dear Ma Eva, who is no longer with us.

For as long as I can remember, my mother had a unique way of marking this special day. She would send me a message on the day before my birthday, announcing with a twinkle in her eye that she was "in labour." It was a playful and endearing tradition, her way of reminding me that she was there with me even before the day I officially entered the world.
And on the day of my birthday, like clockwork, the phone would ring. It was her, calling to wish me "Happy birthday, big boy." Her voice, brimming with warmth and love, would sing a short rendition of "Happy Birthday." Those moments were more than just a simple phone call; they were a testament to a mother's unwavering love and a bond that transcended time and distance.
But today, as I woke up, there was no call, no message from her. The realisation hit hard - this is the first birthday I'll spend without her. My wife thought the same thought when she woke up this morning. The weight of that absence is profound, and it's hard to put into words the emptiness that I feel. It's a vacuum that cannot be filled, except temporarily by my memories of her.

Yet, even in my grief, I'm reminded of the lessons my mother taught me throughout her life. She was a woman of strength, resilience, and above all, a love to serve others. I can hear her voice in my mind, encouraging me to find ace my studies and graduate with a PhD, my ultimate goal. She would want me to remember the laughter we shared, the moments that made our relationship special, and the love that remains.
Grief, I've come to realise, is not just a manifestation of sadness. It's a reflection of the love we have for those who have left us. And as much as I miss her today, I know that the love and memories we shared will forever be a part of me.

So, as I navigate this bittersweet day, I choose to celebrate. I'll celebrate the love that never fades, the memories that bring a smile to my face, and the lessons that guide me forward. I'll light a candle, not only in memory of my mother but as a beacon of hope and gratitude for the time we had together.
She missed the birth of her first great-grandson, Luca. It does leave one sad. Ma Eva, know that your spirit lives on in me, in the choices I make, and in the love I share. You may not be here in person, but your presence is etched into the very fabric of my being. Happy birthday to me, and happy birthday to the beautiful soul who gave me life and taught me how to truly live.

Thank you for being the light in my life, Ma Eva. I miss you, and I love you.

With heartfelt gratitude,
your son, Selwyn Milborrow